Alcohol Vs. Age

So here is my next dilemma, alcohol vs. age. What is the dilemma you might ask? Like myself you may be thinking that the only dilemma based on alcohol you have come against up to now is exactly what to drink and how much. And there in stands the issue, I don’t consider this comment a quandary. Up to now I don’t consider that alcohol is a "problem" for me. As a matter of fact I find that it is an excellent solution for a lot of ” problems" that I have come up against(Oh shit, there I go again, that didn’t sound good). However, the difficulty is the fact that I haven’t changed my alcohol/drinking attitude since my early twenties. That is to say that I often will equate drinking to partying which equals, well quite frankly, headaches. And headaches are no fun anymore. Not that I am suggesting they were ever fun but it is taking a longer time to get rid of the headaches and they come with other side effects like puffy glazed eyes, sleep deprivation, bad hair (I can’t be bothered on those days) and just general yuck feelings. Oh, I know this is “normal” but I suppose I can’t really handle it anymore. I actually become incapacitated to the point where it affects my day. Oh god, isn’t that sign one in the AA “How you know you’re an alcoholic” manual. Anyway, I digress. What I am saying it is really not the drinking behavior at all that needs to change, but the unfortunate derailing of the 39ish/40 year olds body tolerance of abuse. Ya, that is it for sure. So I think that the solution must be in the health and wellbeing of your physical state not alcohol itself. Right!!!! There must be some sort of organic, herbal, yogic type thing that could help with my tolerance level so that I don’t have to adjust this aspect of my life. OK! Any recommendations send them my way. Ahhhh see it’s not age vs. alcohol as much as age vs. delusion….. I mean accommodating your changing body.

Next week’s topic: 40’s and denial.

That all folks. (Going up to party at the cottage with my herbal pills.)

Where are my keys?

So it's been approximately a week since my euphoric first blogging moment. Now a week later I am a little less ecstatic and more panicked at the idea of actually having to follow through with this (due to the fact I emailed ALL my friends about it) and figuring out what to talk about. However, as I sit here and reflex on the last week there are certain, what does Oprah call them "ah ha moments", that I can lend to this weeks notes and that I believe have left a mark on my transition to
40dum.

Losing keys has always been a little bit of a sore spot for me. Keys along with mittens, wallets and well I suppose that cell phones would also fall into that category (although I've never lost my cell just left it in the rain). However, most of the time my "oh shit, I can't find my KEYS!" moment usually ends up with my husband calmly walking over with key in hand and smirk on face and making some annoying sarcastic remark starting with "surprise, surprise........". This week however he was not around when I biked home from my waxing appointment ( a whole other blog) and found by the time I reach home my keys were GONE! So here I am a woman in my 40th year, mature, and emotionally sound enough to calm myself and rationally think about what to do next in order to rectify the situation. Or you would think! Nope! I was Swearing, tears, emotional outbursts and not to mention complete panic. Did I find my keys that day, no! However, the next day after a sleep and rational contemplation I was able to trace my steps and locate the missing keys. Why am I telling you this? Why is this important for my "On my way to 40" blog? I suppose because it's another one of those times where I realize that I need to buck up and stop with the freak outs and act my age. But it might also be the idea that these “tantrums” might be getting worse. With mid life creeping into the distance my emotional break downs around such little crises are actually getting slowly more disturbing. I mean ya, I've always been a bit emotional but I swear on Tuesday the sweat was dripping, my pupils were dilated (I am assuming), the tears where quick and BIG and my daughter, my fucking 12 year old daughter, was able to calmly rationalize a method of entering the house and then get on with her day while I huddled in a corner talking to myself about what an idiot I am. Is this what I have to look forward to? Slow, but obvious collapes into some kind of psychotic meltdown over things like "KEYS!” Now, this could be me, and therefore I have revealed too much, or we, meaning us who are entering this time in our lives, could all be having melt downs that are irrational due to our coming of age. Who knows but I'm sure that if you read this and find similarities to your reactions you may be able to enlighten me and/or reassure me.

Oh, and if your wondering if my 12 year old was around for all of this. Well, sadly, she was there for half and not the good half. However, I feel that it's good for her to see so that......ummmmmmm.......she knows better when it comes to her. Ya, thats it. Hopefully, thats it.

Ya. Thanks for listening. Oh, and any thoughts let me know.

Lise

Here we go!

OK, I admit, I saw the movie Julie/Julia and thought ah ha, this could be a solution for my problem?. I can possibly blog my way through my 40th year sharing, empathizing and sympathizing with other late 30 somethings who are also feeling that midlife anxiety. Well maybe it's not as much anxiety as it is the reality that I am actually getting older and that I possibly have to start realizing this rather then ignoring it. Not that I am going to assume that turning 40 is all a bad thing but perhaps it's more of a maturity thing. What I mean to say is that for some of who have decide in our infinite wisdom that we are never going to "mature",as it will keep us young, the idea of hitting our halfway mark in life causes us to pause and think "oh shit". And this is exactly what I am struggling with. Do I continue to pretend that I am young or do I embrace the idea of my naturally maturing age and look toward growing older in a more creative and healthy way. (Yikes, even writing that lends to the idea of a sensibleness.)

So I suppose that is going to be the subject of this year less 3 days (my b-day was on the 16th of August) adventure. Let me know what you think and I will try to enlighten you each day with some thoughts, adventures, and possibly some words of inspiration.

Thanks.

Lise